"Why can't I stop thinking about this?" "I just don't have energy to do anything." "I feel like I just want it all to end." Many, many people have thoughts like this, so if you're having thoughts like these please hear YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Most people unfortunately are raised to get rid of or "over" challenging emotions, such as sadness, anxiety, anger, guilt, and fear. Most are told in one way or another it's great to be happy, but if you're feeling something else stop those emotions and get back to happy. And because most of us are told this in some way overtly or without knowing, we learn to also enforce that unspoken rule either by doing whatever we can to not feel challenging emotions or trying to get others out of those emotions and back into feeling happy.
But what if what you're feeling is what everyone else is feeling? Then you'd probably be a typical person and your feelings are more than likely acceptable and valid. Most people when feeling happy don't tell themselves as they are feeling happy, "I've got to stop this emotion." Yet so often we do that with challenging emotions. Unfortunately when emotions are not at least acknowledged and felt (and expressed if needed), and then are attempted to be stopped before they run their course, this produces stress. This emotional stress has been shown to have a cumulative effect, building upon itself. And like anything else that builds up and is stressful, you'll eventually have some sort of blow. With people, what has seen is that this blow occurs with an explosion (e.g. anxious or angry outbursts) or implosion (e.g. depression).
But what if you could learn to accept the other emotions, allow them to be felt in your life, and then slow them down so they were not so hard to handle? What if you could balance your emotions? You can and we have helped many people work through that change to live more in the now rather in the past, where depression can somewhat go to, or the unknown future, where anxiety can lead our imagination.
If you'd like to learn how walk through your emotions with help to get a more balanced place with yourself and your emotions, contact us today!
"We always seem to argue." "He just yells and leaves." "I can never be good enough, no matter what I do." "I try to stop arguing, but then she just won't let it go." "Since we have had kids, it's just not the same." "I don't know how to move past the cheating." "He won't open up." If any of these are things you've said or heard to some extent you're probably working through issues most couples work through in their relationships. Sadly, many couples continue to go through struggle after struggle without reaching out for help. And the longer they wait on help, the longer they ingrain patterns that keep hurting one another.
Yet when couples do reach out for help, they often can learn to do some small things that will move their relationship in a different direction. Instead of growing farther apart, they can learn how to reach for one another and pull each other into greater connection and intimacy. We work within an Emotionally Focused Therapy and Attachment-style context. We work to show each partner how to slow down any reactive communication many couples get caught up in and then learn to listen to understand. Through sessions, we help reduce communication tension in the couple and increase the ability to listen to each other in helpful ways no matter the issue. EFT has been empirically proven to help many couples get to a space of true connection.
Everson Psychotherapy, Inc. has helped many couples navigate issues of communication, lack of intimacy, increase understanding and empathy with one another, rebuild trust, adapt to becoming new parents through birth or adoption, and walk through times of stress and struggle. Couple therapy usually is an investment in your relationship. If you're tired of the way you're NOT relating well, or want additional help to grow your relationship stronger than it already is, reach out to us today!